Star Wars Jedi Power Battles
|next = None }} "Star Wars Jedi Power Battles" is the first and only episode of Star Wars Episode I: Jedi Power Battles on Grumpcade. Gameplay Barry and Ross attempt to get through the Trade Federation Battleship. Barry plays as Plo Kloon, while Ross plays as Adi Gallia. Barry reaches the Loader Droid boss, but is killed, forcing them to start over. On their second try Brian takes Ross' place, but they can't access the other levels. Brian plays as Mace Windu, and Barry plays as Adi Gallia. This time neither of them even reach the boss. Discussions Brian tries to make Barry’s name into a Star Wars name. Barry opts to be called Yoda, while Brian wants to be called Bro-Bot. Brian claims that the best Star Wars character is IG-88, while Barry prefers GNK. The three of them are confused by the appearance of Plo Koon and Adi Gallia, two jedi who only briefly appeared in The Phantom Menace. Barry and Brian claim that Plo Koon sounds like a children's board game, while Ross states that Adi Gallia sounds like a fancy handbag. Brian professes to seeing a midnight showing of ''The Phantom Menace. ''He initially liked it, but regretted this opinion the second time. The three of them imagine a sitcom about C-3PO and Data from Star Trek, with Brian naming it "Threepio's Company". Ross imagines what Star Trek would be with a laugh track. Ross comments on how awful the controls are. Barry notes how, ironically, LucasArts' greatest strength was making games that weren't about Star Wars, while their Star Wars games are generally mediocre. They also complain about the long load times on the game. At exactly 14:47 in the episode, Ross loses all interest in the game. Barry and Brian comment on how impressive it is that he's lasted so long through the episode. Brian and Barry talk about C-3PO’s vagina. Brian jokes about how C-3PO could be considered a salacious crumb. Ross accidentally closes the episode with “Next time on Steam Train.” Brian intentionally matches this flub even after calling Ross out on it. Quotes * ”God, this game controls like a donkey's dick! … If you had a donkey on its back and you grabbed its penis and used it as a joystick, that would be close to the controls of this game.” - Ross * ”If you had a donkey on its back, you know what you'd see? Assballs.” - Brian * ”This game! Su-ucks! Fucking! Di-ick! This game! Su-ucks! Big fat! Di-ick! DIIIIIIIICK! SUCK BIIIIIIG!” - Ross and Barry, to the tune of Duel of the Fates. * ”I got a big stain on my carpet, maybe we should Mace Windu it. But actually seriously, don't ask how I got that stain on my carpet, 'cuz it's pretty embarrassing.” - Brian * ”Do you know what, guys? This could be the shittiest game in the world, and is, but I'd still be having a great time if it just meant we're hanging out.” - Brian * ”I thought we were playing games with Ross, but this whole time it was a tremendous bag of dicks!” - Barry External links Category:Episodes Category:Ross, Barry, and Brian Episodes Category:Grumpcade Episodes Category:One-off Episodes